you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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