found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
