Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
