Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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