a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
