All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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