Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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