She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
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