The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
