Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
