Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Randomize
