lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
