She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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