She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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