Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
