If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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