I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
even my farts smell like vagina
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
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the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
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I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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