that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
