official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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