laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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