I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize