Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
