But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
