I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
