Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
