Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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