omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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