so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I could make wine with my vomit
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
