JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
