i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
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beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
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