Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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