His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
My dick has a subreddit
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
