from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
