what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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