I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Operation Purity has been aborted
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
