just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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