I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Randomize
