Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
