you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
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I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
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I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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