i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
