I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore