if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
You blew him?!?!
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.