do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
