This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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