I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
The air taste purple.
Randomize
