so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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