Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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