its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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