Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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