I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
