You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
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She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
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I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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