He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
