We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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