all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
