She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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