Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
apparently the secret to your success is patron
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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