I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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