were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
