Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
