..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
