So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
