He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
