We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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