What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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