i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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