My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
