Well apparently he's into motor boating.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
